recurring teddy bears

On Saturday night I had a dream which reminded me of another dream which I hadn't blogged, and since they are very similar i'll blog them both now...

So about 2weeks ago I had a dream where my friend Renee gave me a kind of going away present. It was a suitcase with lots of things associated with travelling inside it. I remember towels, candy, books and things like that. I also found in there my childhood teddy bear called smoggy. I got it when I was about five but I lost it about two years ago. It was one of my only childhood things so i'm still very gutted that I lost it. So when it turned up in my dream I was so excited, I asked renee where she got it from and she told me she had stolen it from me but now she felt guilty so she was giving it back. I remember feeling so upset in the morning when I woke up and realised that I didn't have smoggy and it was only a dream.

So on Saturday night I had a similar dream. I found smoggy somewhere, the details are very fuzzy in my mind but he was above me within arms reach in a crate or a rubbish skip or something. I remember very clearly reaching out and getting him, and having the same feeling of happiness, but I was also aware of the possibility that this was a dream. So at this point, I turned to Jen (who is sleeping beside me at the moment while we share a room in Melbourne) and asked her to look at smoggy and confirm that I had finally found him, and that this was actually reality. When I was asking her this my surroundings were real, I was in my room and everything was as it would be if I was actually awake, the light was dim and Jen was in the right place. So after I had asked Jen to see smoggy, I curled up with him and went back to sleep, feeling very comforted. When I woke up I again felt annoyed and upset that I still hadn't found him, despite my attempts at proving it wasn't a dream.

It seems kind of silly for me to still be yearning for my lost teddy bear, but I presume it is because i'm a little out of my comfort zone at the moment and smoggy was always a comfort.